Trap trap and more trap!

Chad and I are shooting trap together this year in a league here in town. This has been a great thing for the two of us to do together!! Its nice to be able to have something to look forward to doing without the kids, and its something that we both enjoy doing together. The other great thing about it is that its something that I can do that Chad didn't have to teach me, because well really he has not patience for that sort of thing! I'm still in the learning process of it, but I do pretty good hitting the clay pigeons! Im no where near how good Chad is, but he has been doing it alot longer than I have.

It's also really nice because I get to see my friends and spend some time with them that night too, as a bunch of my girlfriends are on an all girl team that I was on with them last year. I miss being able to shoot with them, but I'm thankful to have something for just me and Chad to do.

We did try to take the kids with us one day, and found that it really wasn't all that much fun or relaxing with them around. Both of us were preoccupied with making sure they were ok that neither one of us shot very well.

So I now can say that we have found something for us to do together! Its been great for our relationship. The past year of struggles finally seems to be a distant path, and we are back to being the couple we were when we first got married! It's a wonderful blessing!

So another month or two down the road and I return. I always tell myself that I'm going to follow through and blog more often, but life for me just gets in the way of that!

Everything here in the Brannaman household is going well. Chad is back at Peterbilt after being active in the Army for a year, and its going to be an adjustment all the way around I think, but I have all the faith in the the world that it will all work out!

Bailey has been diagnosed with severe asthma! Great just what we needed right! I feel horrible watching her catch her breath some days and there isnt much I can do to help her but give her inhaler and watch her! They are going to be sending us to see a pulmonologist in Denver for her now, as it would be much easier to help us get this under control! Poor baby girl!

Caydence on the other hand is doing amazingly well all things considered!! We are currently on a month by month basis on seeing how things are going before we go back for transplant. So what does that mean? It means that it all depends on her! She is going to be the one that determines when we go back to Houston for her lung transplant. There really is no set plan right now, and actually that is ok with me! I am so happy that for now she gets to be a normal kiddo and play at daycare with her friends, and play at home with her brothers and sister!! I am still amazed at how much she can go through all the time and still be as happy as she is! I know that if it was me there would be no way I could keep up being that happy!

So for now we are just settling back into what is our normal around here. I am not working and learning to be a stay at home mom is somewhat of a struggle for me, but I know that I will figure it out! And for all of my friends out there that know my "fights" with the laundry... I have overcome that!! There is NO mountain!!! Its a wonderful thing to be able to look around and know that the house is all picked up!! What a wonderful feat! Too bad it only took spending two months at the Ronald McDonald House in Houston with very limited clothing for this too happen, but it did and thats all that matters!!

Boy oh boy!

Now I by no means mean this in the wrong way, but wow, we really are not in Wyoming anymore. We have become really comfortable in the hospital in Denver, which under normal circumstances I would think weird to even hear coming out of my mouth, but reality for us is that we are often there because of Caydence's medical problems. The nurses there are wonderful people and always try to make it feel like home. With that being said WOW!! Texas is a much better place, and while I know there are going to be growing pains with us coming to a new place, I really didn't think that the transition to a new hospital would be this hard.

First I should start by saying that the hospital here is amazing with what they do for Children, but at the same time, the bedside manner here is lacking a little something. It kind of feels like they just do their job here and move on where as we are used to people who love their jobs. The doctors here on the other hand are wonderful people, and are doing everything within their capabilities of doing what needs to be done for my daughter.

They are letting her out of the hospital today, but we will be staying here in Houston. We are going to start the process of listing her on the lung transplant here, but since she is already listed in Saint Louis all of her time that she has built up on the list will still be there. So that means that she will on the top of the list when they offically get her listed here!

Thats the update for now. There really isnt much going on until we get the rest of the test results later in the week! Have a great day!

Really behind on this

So starting now I really am going to try harder at remembering to get on here and post things... Sometimes life gets in the way and I don't always have a chance to update.

We have started the Journey for Caydence to get her new lungs... what a weird thought if you think about it. I know that they have told us for a while now that eventually we were going to come to this point, but it still hasn't set in that we are here doing all of this. I'm starting to wonder if I am not going to have it sink in that this is really happening until we get the call and the page that they have found a donor for Caydence. It still amazes me every day at how well she is doing, and even more so when you have one of the best pulmonologists in the world that says the same thing. No one really understands how Caydence has done as well as she has, but I am truly thankful that she has.

I want every one to step back and take time to think about this... Are you an organ donor??!!?? If not you really should consider that option. If something horrible was to happen to you would you want to be able to save the life of another person. It's not something that people like to think about often, but it is something that you should consider. And if you do choose to be an organ donor make sure that your family knows those are your wishes.

Well thats what I have to say for today. We have a long road ahead of us, but I know that we will make it through as a family just fine... Just remember every day to tell those around you that you love them and that they are special to you, you never know when you are going to get that chance again!

School

I have offically made it through my first week of school! YAY me!! I didn't really realize how hard it was going to be, not that its so tough I am not going to be able to accomplish it, It's just that I have not done this in almost 10 years so its going to take some rearranging things so that i can accomplish my goals.

So far the boys seem to be LOVING kindergarten! Im glad that they each like their teachers. Chad made fun of me when we dropped all the kiddos off at school on their first day because i started crying about the boys. I was worried that they were going to get lost, or that something bad was going to happen. I know I know, a bit dramatic, but hey I'm so totally a mom!

Bailey seems to really like her teacher too. She has a couple friends of hers in her class so that makes me happy. She is so enthusiastic about school. I love that. She is starting to figure out so much more about the world, I sometimes wish I could see inside of her head to see what she is thinking.

Chad FINALLY made it home a couple days before I started school. I'm glad that he will be home for a while now. He has a class to go to in November for him to be able to get his promotion in the army but at least this time its not for that long of a time period. Im very proud of him and the work that he is doing. He is also back into training to be a body builder. It's his dream and I am going to try really hard to support him through it this time. It just is hard sometimes because he spends alot of time at the gym, and he is going to start working saturdays at peterbilt again, so its going to seem like we are never going to see eachother. I just have to remind myself that its not forever and we have to do what we have to do to get through all of this.

We went to denver for Caydence's appointment. Its a really long update so im going to suggest that you go check it out on her care page at http://www.carepages.com/carepages/CaydencesSpirit because it would make typing it out much easier for me.

All in all things are going pretty good. Now for me to just survive this first semester and we will be doing great!!

This past week has been a huge eye opener for me. I have learned things about people who I thought were good friends that maybe they arent and then learned that people I hadnt really thought of as very good friends are.... It's a very interesting change of events. I am finally to a point in my life where I just dont want to have the drama any longer. My family doesn't need and neither do I. It saddens me to think that I have been very close to someone for a while and find out that maybe they are not who I originally thought.

But on a different note, my nephew Maverick is starting the path on his heart journey. He finally went in for his open heart surgery today, and we are hoping that all goes well. He is such a strong little guy. The surgery ended up getting started late, and he really didnt cry all that much at all. My heart goes out to my brother and his fiance because even though the situation is different as Cayde and my nephew have completely different heart problems I know kind of how they feel. Handing your child over and not knowing when you are going to see them, and keeping complete faith in the doctors that they are going to take really good care of your child is hard. Right before they took him, I really did not know what to say to either of them, because in that moment there is nothing that anyone can say that will make them feel better. Its hard.

Bailey, Blaine, and Ely all start school the day after I do. The boys are really excited about getting to go to school, and so is Bailey. I have a feeling that I am going to turn into that mom who sits in the car crying for a while after dropping them all off to school for their first day. Chad I think is going to have just as hard of a time with it as I am, although he's not going to show it like I do. I am really scared about going back to school. With Caydence having signs of the pulmonary vein stenosis progressing, I am starting to wonder if going back to school is such a good idea. I know that in the long run this is going to be better for my whole family, but I am scared of what's going to happen. Chad is going to have to probably do more doctor visits and all of that as I really can't take much time away from school.

We go on monday to meet with the Neurologist to talk to them about these seizures that Caydence is having in her sleep. I am scared about what they are going to say. If it is an actual seizure disorder there is a chance that she could be disqualified for the transplant. But on the other hand if this is a progression of the PVS that's just as scary as we don't really have much information on it at all. I guess at this point we just wait and see what they say and go from there. We got the offical Transplant Listing letter in the mail for her Lung Transplant. That's a scary step too because now we know that is the direction that eventually we will be headed down. I just hope that it gets clearer as the time gets closer on exactly what we should do. There is so much unknown that it makes the decision that much harder.

So we are back to the old saying Live, Love, and Laugh often, as you never know if there is going to be another tomorrow.

Life lessons....

I am beginning to realize that life really is far too short. In the last 2 weeks I have lost 2 people to suicide.... Not quite sure why they chose such a drastic permanent measure for a temporary problem. I will never understand this. It's such a tragic thing and the people left behind are the ones who are grieving and hurting the most from something that is one of the most selfish acts there is.

With all of that being said I also realize that life is to precious to waste. We are really only given a short amount of time here, and we should live it to our full potential. The old saying of Live, Laugh, and Love really is something that I have tried to accustom myself too. I love my family and I only want to spend each day with them as much as possible.

Plus Caydence I think has been a huge eye opener not only for myself but Chad, and my family. There really is no certainty on how long we are going to be here, and the hardest thing for anyone to ever hear is that they most likely will outlive their child. Which honestly I dont think really was ingrained in any of our heads until we went to Saint Louis to start the process of getting her listed for the Lung Transplant. I never in a million years would have thought that this would be our reality, but here we are, and here we go. I for one am chosing to spend the time I have with her happily. I dont want to look back and regret anything when it comes to her or any of my other children. This is something that everyone I believe should turn into a practice. Rather than telling them not right now, or I'm too busy, it is far too easy to take a moment of your time to spend with your children.

So here is my hope, that we all make changes within ourselves for the better. Im not saying that they have to be huge or even drastic. Just remember they they are only little for a short time, and you never know what each day will bring. I for one dont want to regret it!